The 10 ‘FFS’ parenting moments to test the patience

Here is our 10 ‘for bad word sake’ moments that will test the patience of any new parent.  How many can you relate to?

1. The ‘just about to walk out the door’ poo – Its a sure thing its gone right up their back too. 

2. The ‘trio’ – The simultaneous poo, sick and joyful little jet spray of pee to finish you off.  Take that!

3. The obligatory vomit – Fresh (and sometimes ironed) clothes = baby being sick on you (or perhaps poo if you are really lucky).


4. The twitch of impending doom – The baby starts to wake and you are yet to make the bottle.  Run for your life!

5. The unnecessary nappy change – Everyone loves a nappy being filled just after it has been changed – right?  Our record is 4 times and our nappy costs are through-the-roof.

6. The pee-break – Baby is sleeping so time for a moments peace on the loo and ‘wahhhhh’.  Own up – what’s your quickest pee to date?

7. The charming postman – Baby has been ratty all morning and you’ve just got him to sleep.  Guess what happens next?


8. Cold tea – How many times have you made fresh tea and forgotten about it?  I draw the line at zapping tea for the third time.

9. The phone – How quickly can you make it down the stairs before the persistent salesperson wakes the baby?

10. Bloggers worst nightmare – Did the baby just wake up as you switched on your laptop?  Haha – nice try.

If you are an expecting parent, then I wish you all the luck in the world.  You are going to need it, and of course, some patience *chuckles like the Devil*.

These days I just grimace and hope that I won’t be swearing under my breath for the rest of my days.

Lisa x


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  • Reply
    November 5, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    These are all so very accurate! At least they’re temporary. 🙂

  • Reply
    Amanda van Mulligen
    August 26, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    I’m happy to say most of these are history for me now *she says smugly*. The bad news is that those FFS moments are just replaced by something new as the kids get older ……. like the trail of Lego bricks down the stairs or trying to get them out of bed for school.. It all changes when they leave home right? ????

    • Reply
      August 26, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      Haha – we can only hope they change when they leave home. Im 33 and still drive my folks crazy x

  • Reply
    August 25, 2015 at 10:51 pm

    I remember all of these so well 😉 I may have given cold callers a real mouthful over the phone back then as well! 😉 Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix and #TenThings lovely,

    Stevie xx

    • Reply
      August 26, 2015 at 2:02 pm

      You’re welcome hun. Catch you Friday for some more PicknMix fun xx

  • Reply
    Jess Powell
    August 25, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    Hehe, all so *so* true! 🙂

  • Reply
    August 25, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Love this post! Every one is true! I do not miss the nappy changes right before you leave the house haha!

    Gemma danger

  • Reply
    helen gandy
    August 25, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Haha, great post I was reading each one going yup, yup, yup!


    • Reply
      August 25, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      Hi Helen! Thanks for visiting our post and for your comment 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    August 23, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Oh god, yes to all of these, Mine’s a bit older now, but my current ‘FFS’ moment is when he’s so desperate to feed, screaming, tugging at my top, and the moment he’s latched on, he’s straight off again. Arrgh. Also tidying up the house every day, only to find it’s in the exact same state the next morning. What happens? #PicknMix

    • Reply
      August 23, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      Haha my house is like a nursery and never looks tidy yet I tidy and clean 24/7 :). The joys danger

  • Reply
    Silly Mummy
    August 21, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Haha – yes, all very true! Hate the wasted nappy changes! #PicknMix

    • Reply
      August 21, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      Id love to know what the average bill for nappies is 🙂 Thanks for visiting us x

  • Reply
    August 21, 2015 at 9:53 am

    We’re off out today and I can guarantee a FFS poo will happen by one of them! #PickNMix

  • Reply
    Caro | The Twinkles Mama
    August 19, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Yep. Add to this list the couriers that like to knock on the door REALLY loudly when the babies are sleeping. Only to say ‘Can you take this parcel for next door?’. FFS. Grrr. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x

    Caro |

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:53 pm

      Thanks for visiting our post! Charity people at the door get on my wick too. Maybe a sign on the door stating that the baby is sleeping may make them sod off? xx

  • Reply
    August 19, 2015 at 6:59 am

    Definitely had a FFS morning… Been up since 5! It’s interesting thinking back to the earlier stages FFS moments, and how they change! Not so many involving sick or poo these days but sleep disturbance, check. Refusal to eat, check. Failure to allow any mummy me time, check check check! X MMT

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      What you mean to say that the troubles get even more severe?! Is it still illegal to sell babies? 😀 danger

  • Reply
    Beau is Blue (@beauisblue)
    August 18, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    Omg i relate to this so much!!! Nearly every point is spot on! Such a great read and thanks for sharing! Suz x

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      Thanks very much for visiting our post. I’m glad that I am not the only one who has suffered such trouble. Please tell me it all runs its course eventually? xx

  • Reply
    Mess stress and fancy dress
    August 18, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    I remember them well. I unplugged my house phone after shouting obscenities at too many PPI computers. And the up the back poo is a killer. Another cracking post danger dangerx

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:46 pm

      Thanks Helen! Jack once managed to get poop up his back and into his hair. Made me mini-sick in my mouth, I have to admit 🙂 That was definitely one for the bath! danger

  • Reply
    August 18, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Haha! It was always the postman or phone for me, I even shouted at an Amazon delivery man once..I felt very guilty afterwards!!

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      haha – I know the feeling. I had a good rant to a salesman once and its funny because they haven’t called since. Thanks for visiting our post xx

  • Reply
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy
    August 18, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    Yes, yes & yes. I’m nodding away here – they are all true. The going out the door poo is a real phenomenon. As is the unnecessary nappy change lol Great post x

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      Thanks Becky and for visiting our post. They are clever little creatures really! 😉 xx

  • Reply
    August 18, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Haha! Brings back some memories. However, my 4 year old still decides she needs the loo just as we’re about the leave the house. At least she can do that on her own now 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      No more nappies hey! Must be like a new found luxury! hehe. thanks for visiting our post xx

  • Reply
    Picking Up Toys
    August 18, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Ah the “walking out the door poo” all 3 of my menaces loved doing this!Love this post its fab x

    • Reply
      August 19, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks hun, you have to admire their ability to strike at the perfect time! 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    August 18, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    These are so true!! It’s like babies can sense when we try to do something for ourselves (like the luxury of going to the toilet!) and try to do everything in their little power to prevent us from doing it!

    Helen x

    • Reply
      August 18, 2015 at 12:19 pm

      Oh yes, they definitely keep us on our toes! Its all good fun though, right? xx

  • Reply
    The Anxious Dragon
    August 18, 2015 at 11:28 am

    I still remember all of those #TwinklyTuesday

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