Last week was a particularly tough one for me. Jack had been his usual happy and contented self all week but for some reason mummy was going off the rails. I had been having up-and-down days like most new mums but last week I was beside myself. Was I suffering from PND? I don’t know but what I do know is that I started to become anxious when trying to leave the house and everything just seemed to irritate or upset me. Even the squeaky toy that woke Jack from his sleep when I trod on it made me see red and I certainly don’t think that a certain salesperson will be calling us again. Trivial I know, but I was feeling helpless.
Anyway, I came across an excellent Blog Post by Firstooth (thank you) which opened my eyes to the fact that I hadn’t left the house or spoken to anyone other than Trevor or Jack all week. No wonder I was feeling down, I was flipping lonely. You see, all of my family are located in London and I only have a small friends base in Newbury having only moved here a couple of years ago. I know that there are local parent groups that I can attend but I just don’t have the confidence to walk through the door into a room of unfamiliar faces. I spoke to Trevor when he got home and we decided that we needed to start getting out of the house in the evenings, as well as weekends, not just for my sake but for Jack’s too.
We planned that we would go out on Thursday evening to the races at Newbury Racecourse. When Trevor got home from work, I had worked myself up into a frenzy again and so he took over with our amazing Jack. I almost felt sick about leaving the house but made myself get ready to go. I even put one of my favourite dresses on in an effort to make myself feel better.
We had taken Jack to the races before but he was tiny and spent the whole evening asleep. This time at almost 6 months old, he was much more aware of everything that was going on and remained awake throughout. We made a point of letting Jack watch the horses as they were being paraded before each race which he seemed to enjoy. This allowed Trevor time to study the horses before placing his bets but a lot of good that did because he didn’t manage to pick us any winners. I usually choose by the colour of a jockeys jersey but I let Trevor take the reins this time, so-to-speak.
In all, the evening was lovely and just what the doctor had ordered. Some much needed family time and a break from the norm. It really is amazing what the fresh air can do, I felt completely refreshed by the time we got home. Perhaps Jack might like a trip to the zoo next, as well as a sane mummy?
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